Tanco was a Scot (some say he was Irish and served in Scotland, though most scholars identify him as Scottish) in the 8th and 9th centuries, and was not content to be named an abbot there. It felt too safe and inglorious to him, so he trotted off to Germany, earnestly hoping that the opportunity to become a martyr there would present itself (Germans at that time were targeted as a rich mission field by many Christians, who sought to convert the Teutons to their faith and/or to be killed in the effort, thereby gaining their crowns in glory).

Even Butler suggests that Tanco was more invested in the glory of martyrdom than in bringing the gospel to the unenlightened. Butler writes that Tanco resigned his post in Scotland “Out of an ardent thirst for martyrdom”–and, almost to Tanco’s dismay, instead of meeting resistance and death in Germany, he made numerous converts to Christianity! As a result, Tanco decided he had to up his game and push those new converts to become Super Christians: he began haranguing them for the “shameful passions” that they had yet to put aside. Thus, Butler writes, “In order to convert [from their sinful ways], or at least confound them, [Tanco] preached a most zealous sermon against the vices which reigned amongst them . . . .” The result? They finally gave him what he wanted–they mobbed him and, thanks to one congregant with a lance, stabbed Tanco to death and “procured for him the glorious crown of martyrdom”–and now Tanco has his place on the Calendar. That congregant with a lance however is not praised for helping elevate Tanco to sainthood!

Now, St. Apollonia (see grantingcert.com for February 9, 2017) was only begrudgingly allowed to be a saint (and her story requires a lecture on how hastening one’s death by even a second was abominable short of some rare, holy dispensation–all because she threw herself into her attackers’ fires rather than allowing them to push her into it–after they had already knocked out all her teeth and told her she was next to the holocaust), whereas Tanco is held up as admirable. Yet, much like “suicide by cop,” Tanco clearly instigated “martyrdom by rabble-rousing.” No, he couldn’t simply work lovingly with his new parishioners, finding “teachable moments” and celebrating the immense, immediate success of his missionary efforts. No, Tanco had to incite his own death. His efforts are exemplary, whereas Apollonia’s are suspect.

Imperialism (even and especially of the religious variety) is sickening. Sexism (even covered over with the patina of canonization) is sickening. Expecting or forcing others to conform to some external standard is neither more nor less than policing. Police brutality is sickening. Congratulations on getting what you wanted, but No Thanko, Tanco!