Basil. He fortuitously and blessedly found Gregory, and together they became deeply attached to one another (in Butler’s terms, they “contracted an intimacy”), meeting for the first time in Athens in 352. Here, at some length, is the encomium to their close relationship, as detailed by Butler:

A sympathy of inclinations, an equal ardour for virtue and learning, and a mutual esteem for each other’s piety and great qualities, formed between the two saints a friendship which was not founded in a light and variable affection, but in rooted love and motives of true virtue. Hence no jealousy, envy, impatience, or other passion, was ever able to impair the union of their hearts, which was not like the passions of youth, resembling a spring flower which quickly fades, and founded only in base interest, sense, or pleasure. They had no other interest or desire than to consecrate themselves entirely to God, and to be to each other a mutual comfort, spur, and assistance in attaining to this great end. No passion more easily betrays youth than that of sensual fondness begun under the sacred name of friendship; nor is there any thing in which they are to be more strongly on their guard against themselves, lest what at first seems virtue terminate in passion. . . . They had the same lodging and the same table; they pursued the same employments and seemed to have but one will. All things were common betwixt them . . . .

Butler goes on for pages more to describe this truly beautiful relationship between these two men. Interlaced with his descriptions of what all they shared, Butler feels repeatedly compelled to point out that their relationship never ever ever crashed on the shores of sensuality, passion, or (shudder) sexual expression.

Once again, we are presented with a saint, Basil, who, along with the other virgins–female and male–was in some visceral way more saintly because of never having engaged in sexual congress! What? Why? What is it about love expressed sexually that turns something wonderful into a distraction from (rather than a conduit to) the embrace of God and neighbor?!

This belief, this attitude, this tenet of “faith” is dangerous, damaging, and, incredibly likely to present a self-fulfilling prophecy. By labeling sex as a weight that necessarily and inevitably detracts one from her or his true purpose, then we learn to mistrust the natural and honest ebb and flow of our relationships, sex becomes sublimated in the lives of those who are identifiable as “on the side of the angles,” and perverse, even horrific things happen as a result.

I’m glad that Basil had Gregory in his life, and that they were able to mutually support one another to become even more the men that they were created to be. I personally believe that this synergy could not have transpired as a result of reining in their passions in order to avoid “sensual fondness.” To the extent that theirs was a grace-filled, life-giving, and mutually beneficial relationship, it was because Basil and Gregory said YES to one another and to the holy spirit proceeding from their relationship in all its manifold forms.