My dentist has any number of tools he (or his assistant) rolls out. Many of them look identical to me (except that some have mirrors and others just have those horribly jaggy ends that look like misshapen paper clips), yet I am assured that each one is quite different, is able to get at different angles and parts of my mouth, and is designed to do a specific job in ways that lead to overall better oral health. I try not to spend much time looking at them, as I am basically a coward. This is despite the fact that I would recommend my dentist without reservation to anyone on the face of the planet.

Similarly, when seeking to create societal health, there are a lot of scary words out there that sound very similar and that few people want to look closely at. In fact, most people would like to just lump them all together under some general label like “being politically correct”–often accompanied with eye rolling, air quotes, or the like–and I believe it is out of the same family of fear that makes me not want to look at my dentist’s implements.

What I want to do here is to begin rolling out and explaining the different words-as-tools in addressing oppression and social justice. What I offer am offering is a discussion of terms as I understand them and have been working with them. My discussion is neither exhaustive nor normative, but I believe I can offer some reasons why none of these words are exact synonyms and how each comes at different angles to ensure that we can cover as much of the pockets of disease, social cavities, and infected roots that continue to plague our social health and wellness.

In this first post of this Glossary Series, I’m rolling out terms that all name particular ways in which females have been and continue to be (mis)treated. This is a a starter list only, with more to follow.

The three words I want us to consider–and distinguish from one another–are these: misogyny, sexism, and patriarchalism.

1. MISOGYNY: This, in my understanding, is hatred or disdain of females. It can be idiosyncratic, it can be individualistic, it can be collective, it can be institutional. Misogyny directly targets females and while it may grasp at anecdotal rationalizations to address specific expressions of it, there is no rationality involved.
2. SEXISM: This is not simply another word for misogyny. Sexism is systemic. It speaks to a power imbalance whereby males exercise control over females and maintain superior status and privileges. It is appropriate to name sexism when we find the continuing wage gap between women and men. Sexism is not invalidated by individual examples (the specific female that makes more money than the specific male for the same job at a particular location, with or without the male having superior job performance evaluations). Sexism also need not be an indictment of the intentions of any particular male (or, in some cases, female), but males must recognize that we reap benefits continuously in our society because of systemic sexism. Thus:
   1. Addressing sexism does NOT mean that males will be subsequently dis-advantaged–but it does mean that we will be non-advantaged.
   2. There is an important and necessary discussion for us all to have about the terms “male” and “female.” Sexism systemically places expectations upon both sexes regarding what are acceptable gender-specific (and here, gender is treated as binary based on biology at birth) behaviors.
3. PATRIARCHALISM: Taken at its most basic meaning, this is “Rule by the Fathers.” Consider what all is embedded just in that short phrase: (1) Power; (2) An historical assumption of heterosexual normativity; (3) All-male control; (4) Control belonging to those (males) born earlier than all those (male or female) who are being controlled. This differs from sexism in that although both are systemic, patriarchalism explicitly lays out the pathway for power (becoming a heterosexual father being the most obvious), is dynastic by design, and is an utter perversion of a cultural respect for the wisdom of those who have lived longer lives and had more and more varied experiences. In other words, patriarchalism has nothing to do with respect for one’s elders.

Even in as progressive (hey, it’s a relative term) a television program as Will & Grace, on a rerun I recently watched, Jack was telling Elliot (Jack years before having donated the sperm that fertilized the egg that eventually became Elliot) not to stay out late without calling, and Elliot retorted angrily (in paraphrase), “I don’t have to listen to you! It’s not like you’re my real father!”

The assumption of course was that if Jack were his “real father” (whatever that means), then Jack would have a righteous claim to demand obedience! The focus then shifted in the show to what makes a “real father” and the denouement is that Jack’s love for and concern for Elliot made him a de-facto “real father”–but NEVER was “Rule by the (Real) Fathers” even questioned! Patriarchalism is even more deeply embedded (and may well be considered the “father” of) sexism–which in turn is so much more deeply rooted than those manifestations of woman-hating behavior that comprise misogyny.

And so we commence.