The Holy Family–Joseph, Mary, and Jesus–are celebrated annually from the end of November and culminating in Christmas Day and continuing through the Epiphany, or arrival of the Magi bearing gifts for the baby Jesus, celebrated January 6.

Let’s break down the members of this family for a moment. First, there is Joseph. Both the Matthew and Luke Gospels identify Joseph as a direct (albeit quite distant) descendant of King David. Yet this did not convey to Joseph any of the trappings of royalty or nobility; rather, he was a carpenter who eked out a living in the village of Nazareth.

Next, there is Mary. She was young and engaged to Joseph. Only there’s one Major Issue: At some point during their engagement, Mary became pregnant–and Joseph was not the one who impregnated her! And even though Mary told Joseph about the unexpected and miraculous nature of her pregnancy, Joseph–not surprisingly–began looking for the exit from their relationship. He did not want to raise a child that was not his own.

Yet, in the end (and with the help of a dream in which an angel appeared to him), Joseph made a momentous decision: he would marry Mary, he would join with her in raising a child that he had not fathered, and together he and Mary and the baby would be a FAMILY.

This, my friends, is the paradigm of a chosen family. There is no relation-by-blood between Joseph and Mary’s child. The child is not a bond of co-creation by Joseph and Mary. Nothing but unanswered questions awaited them. There was precious little social support for these three (at best, Mary has an elderly cousin who was busy with a change-of-life baby of her own), and nothing to hold this Family together outside of a conscious choice to just go ahead and do it, come what may.

So to all people who have chosen love over what others may think of their relationship…to all people who have chosen to make a family even if, biologically, they cannot or do not produce children of their own…to all people who recognize that what makes a family holy is embedded in respect and love and a commitment to hang in there in the face of opposition, in the face of the frankly unbelievable, in the face of the unknown: To all chosen families, whatever the age or gender or sexual relationship (or lack thereof) among the parties–Merry Christmas to you. Thank you for demonstrating the myriad, mysterious, miraculous ways of God in our day!