“Just a Saint Who Can’t Say ‘No’!”: Walthen (August 3)

Walthen was certainly a complex person who learned early the art of avoiding those things he did not want to engage in, while never outright voicing his actual objections. Walthen’s grandmother was the niece of William the Conqueror, and a great deal of macho behavior and bravado was expected of him. Yet our future saint inevitably found ways to avoid those demands. For example, Walthen, whose “voice was sweet and soft,” hated the killing of animals. So on those days when he was to go out hunting with the guys, he would arrange for a a servant to meet him in the woods, take his bow and arrow and hunt in his stead, while Walthen would go to his own secret place in the forest to think and read and pray.

Another example was when a rich woman who developed quite a crush on Walthen (an ancient fag hag, perhaps?!) sent him a very showy ring (diamonds set in gold)! Walthen loved the glittering jewelry! He donned the ring and began showing it off to one and all, until someone kindly pulled him aside and explained that tongues at court were wagging about him and this woman. Walthen never even suspected that this woman harbored any emotions of “that sort” toward him–especially as he felt no such stirrings toward her or any other woman–and upon hearing this gossip, Walthen was so appalled that he immediately tore the ring from his finger and threw it into a fire. (Mind you, I myself wonder if he didn’t do that just for show–after all, a fire wouldn’t likely harm a gold-and-diamond ring, and Walthen may well have later retrieved the bling and was just more careful when and where he wore it!)

Next, people began to think that our Walthen–who, with his sweet and soft voice, his dislike of hunting, and his lack of sexual interest in women–would make a great priest! Not surprisingly, being a blood relative of William the Conqueror, Walthen was fast-tracked to becoming an archbishop! But instead of saying he just didn’t want the responsibilities, Walthen claimed that the terrible burdens of being an archbishop would, literally, be the death of him, as frail and delicate as he was. Also, becoming archbishop would require Walthen to leave his particular group of men with whom he gladly shared his daily life [one of whom–when Walthen felt that his own sins were particularly egregious–would whip the saint’s bare shoulders and back to assist Walthen with his repentance!?!].

When the authorities relented, allowing Walthen to refuse this episcopal appointment because the strain would kill him, what did Walthen do? According to Butler, Walthen spent his time “praying with ardent sighs that he might be so happy as speedily to behold the King of kings manifested in his beauty and glory, and admitted to praise him, with his whole heart, in the company of all the saints . . . .” That is, Walthen, who feared that serving as archbishop would lead him to an early grave, publicly prayed for the day of his death and consequent admission to heaven to come speedily!

What qualified Walthen to be named a saint? Clearly, he was quite capable of avoidance without condemnation, but that doesn’t seem particularly admirable. Butler does report a tradition that grew up around Walthen’s corpse: namely, that at thirteen and later at forty-eight years after Walthen’s death, his body hadn’t decomposed in the least. Still and all, I do suspect that had he not been blood kin to William the Conqueror, we’d not even know his name today.